Today we had a most fantastic Memorial Day service. It inspired me-exactly where I am. Staci offered us the opportunity to reflect on the reality that there are people in our lives that we would even take a bullet for-the phrase caught me as this: to allow our energy to dwell in that place rather than to dwell on war, but instead, bring our focus to the sharing of the understanding of loyalty, commitment, sacrifice. The service was beautiful, and full of poignant stories connected to individuals and families that have served in our armed forces, both directly and indirectly. And it was open enough to allow those of us without military ties to move into our own connection to the themes of the stories. I found myself connecting through our most current transformation as a family.
The change that we are currently living into as we find our way to live, and then also try to find words to describe this experience we are having-which feels like some cross between destiny and call-like vocational call, or lifestyle call, or perhaps what happens to everyone along the journey of putting in the time, love and energy into communicating, healing, practicing whatever art/meditative/martial/body-mind-spirit thing you do. Maybe it’s what everyone experiences in their mid-30’s, or their transition from late adolescence into adulthood as characterized by Bill Plotkin in “Nature and the Human Soul”. Whatever the case, it thrills me. It calls to me, and it makes it very clear when I consider the word sacrifice, exactly why I am doing what I am doing.
“What exactly are you doing?” I can hear you asking. Well, the funny thing is I can’t answer that question very clearly right now. I know it would be nice to hear: I am moving. I am changing careers. I am becoming (fill in the blank). But these sorts of statements are still yet to be answered by what comes as I live into this life of mine. As we, the Tudas live into this life of OURS. HOWEVER, I can answer some questions. I can tell you why I am living this answer-less life.
I am living this life of intentionality embracing my own creative ability to act, and my own understanding of how that means I must act. Which is actually quite a journey in and of itself in that what I mean is “we” instead of “I” (more on that later I’m sure). If you thought we were on a journey entitled “2 kids, house with a yard, dog and fence, on the way to full professor,” it might feel like quite a leap too. Don’t get me wrong, all those things in fact, do exist on our path! But our journey is actually entitled “Living the Best Life we can Imagine”. Which means being in dialogue with the world around us, listening and responding with our presence, being the best us we can for ourselves and our children (and yes, their children’s children), and yes, choosing love, choosing life, choosing yes with each breath we take. So, this is where there is often a moment of pause for folks-and then a deeper, “ahhh, I see.” It is for you, who are interested in keeping up with where this ride takes us that I try to put words to these thoughts and experiences. Lovingly, questions will most surely be answered!
Today as Staci asked us to hold for a moment that there are people in our lives for whom we would sacrifice our lives it all flooded into me so clearly. There was a moment in the movie, “Do the Math” http://youtu.be/IsIfokifwSo?t=39m put out by 350.org when I had a new sense of my role as mother. It was a call to action, rather than to focus on my homefires until my children are older. I felt the same call to action as I spent my first nights away from my 2 year old so I could learn from Paul Cienfuegos http://paulcienfuegos.com/. What is it I am standing for?
Perhaps this will be the answer that I wish I could offer to those I try to explain my bubbling over thoughts. I am committed to creating a sustainable future for all of the children on the planet. This means I live a life that gives a hell of a lot, as I am in the privileged place of receiving a hell of a lot. I sacrifice the false vision of success I have been taught alongside the devastating facts of the state of our planet. I do not ask my children to try to muddle their way through this dissonance alone. I authentically and actively demand clean water, air and food and respect for all of creation. I do not run myself ragged. I make room for play and rest and creating. I do not ignore others in my earth community in order to make fleeting gains. I listen. I respond. I choose to wake each morning with a song of love on my lips, a sparkle of hopefulness in my eye, and the wisdom and strength of my power in my spine. I reach out my hand and find a family, a community, a world, alive, awake, and ready at my side. Let us go forth and dance!
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